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179.
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CHAPTER III. A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank—the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable. The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky, and would only say,
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Lory
Alice
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180.
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"I am older than you, and must know better;"
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Alice
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Dodo
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181.
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and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was, and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no more to be said. At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among them, called out,
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182.
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"Sit down, all of you, and listen to me! I’ll soon make you dry enough!"
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Alice
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183.
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They all sat down at once, in a large ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.
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Alice
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184.
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"Ahem!"
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Alice
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185.
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said the Mouse with an important air,
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Alice
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186.
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"are you all ready? This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please! ‘William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria—’"
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187.
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"Ugh!"
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Alice
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188.
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said the Lory, with a shiver.
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189.
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"I beg your pardon!"
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Alice
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190.
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said the Mouse, frowning, but very politely:
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191.
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"Did you speak?"
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192.
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"Not I!"
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193.
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said the Lory hastily.
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194.
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"I thought you did,"
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195.
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said the Mouse.
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196.
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"—I proceed. ‘Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable—’"
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197.
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"Found what?"
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198.
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said the Duck.
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199.
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"Found it,"
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200.
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the Mouse replied rather crossly:
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201.
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"of course you know what ‘it’ means."
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202.
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"I know what ‘it’ means well enough, when I find a thing,"
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203.
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said the Duck:
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204.
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"it’s generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the archbishop find?"
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205.
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The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on,
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206.
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"‘—found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the crown. William’s conduct at first was moderate. But the insolence of his Normans—’ How are you getting on now, my dear?"
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207.
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it continued, turning to Alice as it spoke.
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208.
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"As wet as ever,"
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Alice
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209.
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said Alice in a melancholy tone:
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Alice
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210.
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"it doesn’t seem to dry me at all."
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211.
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"In that case,"
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212.
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said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet,
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213.
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"I move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic remedies—"
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214.
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"Speak English!"
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215.
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said the Eaglet.
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216.
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"I don’t know the meaning of half those long words, and, what’s more, I don’t believe you do either!"
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217.
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And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some of the other birds tittered audibly.
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218.
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"What I was going to say,"
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219.
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said the Dodo in an offended tone,
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Alice
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220.
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"was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race."
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221.
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"What is a Caucus-race?"
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Alice
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222.
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said Alice; not that she wanted much to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that somebody ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.
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223.
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"Why,"
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224.
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said the Dodo,
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225.
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"the best way to explain it is to do it."
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226.
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(And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some winter day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.) First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle,
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227.
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("the exact shape doesn’t matter,"
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228.
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it said,) and then all the party were placed along the course, here and there. There was no
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229.
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"One, two, three, and away,"
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230.
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but they began running when they liked, and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was over. However, when they had been running half an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called out
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231.
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"The race is over!"
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232.
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and they all crowded round it, panting, and asking,
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233.
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"But who has won?"
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234.
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This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead (the position in which you usually see Shakespeare, in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in silence. At last the Dodo said,
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235.
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"Everybody has won, and all must have prizes."
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236.
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"But who is to give the prizes?"
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237.
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quite a chorus of voices asked.
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Set
238.
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"Why, she, of course,"
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Alice
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Set
239.
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said the Dodo, pointing to Alice with one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her, calling out in a confused way,
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Alice
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240.
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"Prizes! Prizes!"
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Alice
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241.
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Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes. There was exactly one a-piece, all round.
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242.
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"But she must have a prize herself, you know,"
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Alice
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243.
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said the Mouse.
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Alice
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Dodo
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Set
244.
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"Of course,"
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Alice
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Dodo
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245.
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the Dodo replied very gravely.
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
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Set
246.
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"What else have you got in your pocket?"
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Alice
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Dodo
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247.
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he went on, turning to Alice.
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Alice
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Eaglet
Dodo
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Set
248.
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"Only a thimble,"
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Alice
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Set
249.
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said Alice sadly.
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Alice
Mouse
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Dodo
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Set
250.
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"Hand it over here,"
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Alice
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Dodo
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Set
251.
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said the Dodo. Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo solemnly presented the thimble, saying
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Alice
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252.
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"We beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble;"
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Alice
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253.
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and, when it had finished this short speech, they all cheered. Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble, looking as solemn as she could. The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down again in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.
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Alice
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Set
254.
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"You promised to tell me your history, you know,"
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Alice
Mouse
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Dodo
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255.
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said Alice,
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Alice
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Dodo
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256.
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"and why it is you hate—C and D,"
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Alice
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257.
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she added in a whisper, half afraid that it would be offended again.
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Alice
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Dodo
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258.
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"Mine is a long and a sad tale!"
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
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Set
259.
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said the Mouse, turning to Alice, and sighing.
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
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Magpie
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260.
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"It is a long tail, certainly,"
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
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Magpie
Set
261.
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said Alice, looking down with wonder at the Mouse’s tail;
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
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Magpie
Set
262.
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"but why do you call it sad?"
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
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Magpie
Set
263.
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And she kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the tale was something like this:—
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Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
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Magpie
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264.
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"Fury said to a mouse, That he met in the house, ‘Let us both go to law: I will prosecute you.—Come, I’ll take no denial; We must have a trial: For really this morning I’ve nothing to do.’ Said the mouse to the cur, ‘Such a trial, dear sir, With no jury or judge, would be wasting our breath.’ ‘I’ll be judge, I’ll be jury,’ Said cunning old Fury: ‘I’ll try the whole cause, and condemn you to death.’"
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Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
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Magpie
Set
265.
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"You are not attending!"
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
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Magpie
Set
266.
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said the Mouse to Alice severely.
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
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Magpie
Set
267.
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"What are you thinking of?"
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
268.
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"I beg your pardon,"
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
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Magpie
Set
269.
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said Alice very humbly:
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
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Magpie
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270.
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"you had got to the fifth bend, I think?"
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
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Magpie
Set
271.
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"I had not!"
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
272.
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cried the Mouse, sharply and very angrily.
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Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
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Magpie
Set
273.
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"A knot!"
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
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Magpie
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274.
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said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking anxiously about her.
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
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Magpie
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275.
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"Oh, do let me help to undo it!"
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
276.
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"I shall do nothing of the sort,"
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
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Magpie
Set
277.
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said the Mouse, getting up and walking away.
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
278.
Remove Segment
"You insult me by talking such nonsense!"
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
279.
Remove Segment
"I didn’t mean it!"
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
280.
Remove Segment
pleaded poor Alice.
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
281.
Remove Segment
"But you’re so easily offended, you know!"
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
282.
Remove Segment
The Mouse only growled in reply.
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
283.
Remove Segment
"Please come back and finish your story!"
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
284.
Remove Segment
Alice called after it; and the others all joined in chorus,
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
285.
Remove Segment
"Yes, please do!"
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
286.
Remove Segment
but the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little quicker.
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
287.
Remove Segment
"What a pity it wouldn’t stay!"
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
288.
Remove Segment
sighed the Lory, as soon as it was quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of saying to her daughter
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
289.
Remove Segment
"Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you never to lose your temper!"
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
291.
Remove Segment
"Hold your tongue, Ma!"
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
292.
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said the young Crab, a little snappishly.
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
293.
Remove Segment
"You’re enough to try the patience of an oyster!"
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
294.
Remove Segment
"I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!"
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
295.
Remove Segment
said Alice aloud, addressing nobody in particular.
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
296.
Remove Segment
"She’d soon fetch it back!"
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
297.
Remove Segment
"And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?"
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
298.
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said the Lory. Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about her pet:
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
299.
Remove Segment
"Dinah’s our cat. And she’s such a capital one for catching mice you can’t think! And oh, I wish you could see her after the birds! Why, she’ll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!"
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
300.
Remove Segment
This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party. Some of the birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking,
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
301.
Remove Segment
"I really must be getting home; the night-air doesn’t suit my throat!"
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
302.
Remove Segment
and a Canary called out in a trembling voice to its children,
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
303.
Remove Segment
"Come away, my dears! It’s high time you were all in bed!"
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
304.
Remove Segment
On various pretexts they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
305.
Remove Segment
"I wish I hadn’t mentioned Dinah!"
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
306.
Remove Segment
she said to herself in a melancholy tone.
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Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
307.
Remove Segment
"Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I’m sure she’s the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder if I shall ever see you any more!"
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set
309.
Remove Segment
And here poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. In a little while, however, she again heard a little pattering of footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping that the Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to finish his story.
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Narrator
Lory
Alice
Mouse
Eaglet
Dodo
Young Crab
Crab
Canary
Magpie
Set